Hi, thanks for visiting anotherSharePointBlog.com and I just want to say that if you’re easily offended, well then this blog is probably not for you. You should probably go away, maybe check out this site about Dr. Suess. Also, please note: This post is not necessarily the opinion of my employer and in no way is it associated with said employer. This is my personal work and spoken in an personal fashion.
So, if you’re not easily offended, and you want to read about some cool shit you can do with windows, then read on.
We’re going to be messing with your computers registry, so you will want to make a backup of the registry; beforehand, in case you fuck up on one of the steps. That way, you will not be tempted to ride your bike over to my house and throw dogshit at it, my house, not your bike.
To backup your registry, type regedit on the run bar, then right click the My Computer, and choose export in order to create the backup. Or you can just export a single key. Save that shit somewhere safe, where you can remember where in the fuck it is, in case you need to import it (restore it).
Cool shit thing number 1: Does your computer take too long to Shutdown?
If you answered yes to cool shit thing number 1, then do this: navigate in registry to HKEY_Local_Machine\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Control and modify the REG_SZ type entry named WaitToKillServiceTimeout to a value between 2 and 20 seconds. Please note, this little bastard is in milliseconds, so make certain that you do not enter less than 2000. My windows 10 machine was set to 5 seconds, or 5000 milliseconds, for you Harvard Mathletes out there.
Cool shit thing number 2: Make your users read something before they can use the computer
Most companies use this setting to display a legal notice to the user that says shit like, “This is not your computer, It’s not 1984 but George Orwell was right and we are watching you, so don’t look at porn on this beeotch!, or we will take your third child and all of his inheritance” Or, something to that affect. You could also just display your favorite quote, from your favorite philosopher, or even a bible verse. The computer could give two shits what you put here, but it will make anyone that uses your PC, click OK when logging in.
Here’s how you do it: Navigate to HKEY_Local_Machine\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Policies\System and modify the REG_SZ named LegalNoticeCaption to say something like, “Hey buddy, why you no read what I say?”, then modify what the fuck you want it to say, by updating the REG_SZ key named LegalNoticeText. And Remember to keep smiling and enjoying your life. This is a great way to give yourself motivational quotes when you login.
Cool thing number 3: Fucking God Mode
God mode allows you to see every single applet on your pc. An applet is another name for a thingy that lets you do administrative shit. For example, there is an applet to backup and restore your computer, add a bluetooth device, add a printer, change a printer, manage bitLocker, change your home page on the internet, and so so much more. So, how do you do this awesome thing, well it’s pretty simple.
Create a new folder (preferably on your desktop, it’s easier to find shit on your desktop) and name it this: (do not fuck around and get all super knowledgeable now, follow these instructions to the letter)
after you name the folder in Windows 7, you can rename it; but Windows 10 is challenged in that arena and will just show you an icon that does not show the name.
I hope you enjoyed this little rant, and drop me a line via email to let me know your thoughts, if you like this format. And if you don’t like it, well I think you know what you can do.